By Yvette Armendariz
Love or hate Halloween, parents of kids with varying interest in the scary side of the holiday may be feeling a bit of anxiety as Oct. 31 approaches. And even if their little ones, tweens and teens aren’t interested in frights – just loving the costumes, pumpkin patches and trick-or-treating – being prepared for unexpected surprises can be a huge help keeping your kiddos feeling calm and safe when out and about around Halloween.
“I loved Halloween as a child,” said Tempe mom of three Chelsea Ziegenhein. And this year, her three-year-old daughter is showing an interest in Halloween for the first time.
“When we saw the decorations in the store, we went through identifying them with expression and excitement so she would understand that it’s a fun event and not something to be afraid of,” said Chelsea. “Now that I see her curiosity has been sparked, I want to introduce her to more through (age-appropriate) books and movies.”
Having two older sons, ages 11 and 14, she’s approached Halloween with their individual sensitivities in mind. “I think it all comes down to knowing each child and opening up conversation 1-on-1 to be prepared,” she said. “When we approach an experience that may be scary to them despite me knowing they will be okay, I make sure to put a fun, silly energy towards it to take the edge off and stay attuned to their responses.”
That’s especially important with her sons, who may feel pressured to be brave during Halloween. “I do my best to make sure no one feels pressured into something they aren’t comfortable with or sees it as a weakness.”
East Valley mom Kristin Mae Cardoza, whose children are 8 and 13, notes her son is more interested in frights than his older sister. So far, she’s introduced some more kid-friendly scary movies, such as Scooby Doo, Casper, The Addams Family and Beetlejuice. “They like these kinds of movies” because they tend to be funnier than spooky, Kristin said.
They’ve so far stayed away from haunted houses or mazes with jump scare. Instead, they’ve taken the kids to a few Halloween carnivals where people dress up, including family-friendly amusement park events at Knotts Berry Farms and Disneyland. “Those were not so scary and more fun for the family,” she said.
She’s starting to get more questions about fictional characters, like the duwendes (mischievous spirits) of Filipino folklore. And so far, she’s taken an approach that helps them understand so much of Halloween is entertainment.
“I think kids need to also be prepared to know what content is coming towards them before they see it,” Kristin said. “A lot of what is put out there nowadays is a lot of shock and awe type horror and that can be very traumatic and cause a lot of stress that they aren’t ready for, even as young adults.”
The American Academy of Pediatrics and HealthNews published some tips to help parents manage their children’s Halloween anxieties and general fears. A synopsis:
- Talk to them about their fears. Explain many children have fears, and you are there to help them overcome their fears.
- Read books together and talk about the differences between fantasy and reality.
- Monitor what they are watching. Steer clear of scary, especially if you know they aren’t ready.
- Help them feel safe by explaining what they can expect in various situations.
- Avoid teasing them about their fears.
- Don’t pressure them to be brave.
- Make a plan for what to do if they start to feel anxious or scared.
Chelsea adds: “You can encourage a positive experience by bringing excitement, playfulness and encouragement but also don’t want to blindly lead them into something that terrifies them and leads them not to trust you the next time.”
She also prepares them with what they can expect will happen and how long it will last, as well as letting them know what will not happen/what is not real.
“And then there’s always, ‘if it scares you, close your eyes and grab my hand.’”
Yvette Armendariz, a former award-winning journalist, occasionally writes about family travel and activities. She’s raised two young adults who both enjoy Halloween, but one prefers the fun side and the other enjoys both fun and frights.
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