By Michael Klinkner, Licensed Clinical Social Worker
As a parent, discovering or suspecting your teenager might be using drugs or alcohol can be deeply distressing. The teenage years are a time of exploration and boundary-pushing, but substance use carries serious risks. How you respond in this situation can make a significant difference. Here’s a guide to help you navigate this challenging time.
Stay Calm and Gather Information
Your first reaction might be panic, anger or fear, but it’s important to remain calm. Acting out of anger or making accusations without evidence can lead to defensiveness and shut down communication between you and your child. Take some time to gather information and observe your teen’s behavior. Are there signs of substance use such as changes in mood, behavior, academic performance or social circles? Have you found physical evidence like bottles, pills or drug paraphernalia? Understanding the situation before confronting your teen will help you approach the conversation more effectively.
Open a Non-Judgmental Dialogue
When you’re ready to talk to your teen, choose a time when you’re both calm and unlikely to be interrupted. Start the conversation with care and empathy, making it clear that your primary concern is their health and safety. Instead of making accusations, express your observations and feelings. For example, you might say, “I’ve noticed that you’ve been acting differently lately and I’m worried. Can we talk about what’s going on?”
It’s crucial to listen without interrupting or jumping to conclusions. Your teen may be more likely to open up if they feel heard and not judged. If they admit to using substances try to understand the underlying reasons. Are they dealing with peer pressure, stress, anxiety or depression? Understanding the root cause is key to addressing the issue effectively and determining if additional medical or therapeutic intervention is necessary.
Set Clear Boundaries and Consequences
Once the issue is out in the open it’s important to set clear and consistent boundaries regarding drug and alcohol use. Be firm but fair in outlining the consequences of breaking these rules. The consequences should be appropriate to the situation and enforced consistently. For example, you might restrict privileges like driving, going out with friends or using electronics. Avoid overly harsh punishments that could further alienate your teen or make them feel hopeless.
Seek Professional Help
If your teen is using drugs or alcohol, especially if it’s more than occasional experimentation, seeking professional help is crucial. This might include counseling, therapy or involvement in a substance abuse program. A therapist or counselor can work with your teen to address underlying issues driving their behavior and help them develop healthier coping skills.
Family therapy can also be beneficial to improve communication and address family dynamics that may be contributing to the problem. Don’t hesitate to reach out to your child’s school counselor, doctor or local support groups for guidance and resources.
Stay Involved and Supportive
Throughout this process, it’s essential to remain involved in your teen’s life and offer unwavering support. Encourage them to participate in positive activities like sports, hobbies or volunteering to help them build self-esteem and find fulfillment outside of substance use. Maintain open lines of communication and continue to express your love and concern.
Remember, overcoming substance use is often a long and challenging journey. Your teen may experience setbacks, but your consistent support and encouragement can make a significant difference in their recovery.
If you suspect your teen is using drugs or alcohol addressing the issue with care, understanding, and firmness is crucial. By staying calm, opening up a non-judgmental dialogue, setting clear boundaries, seeking professional help and providing ongoing support, you can help your teen navigate this challenging time and steer them towards a healthier path.
Michael Klinkner is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with more than 25 years of experience working with parenting, child and teen issues. His expertise includes behavioral problems, ADHD, anxiety, depression and trauma. Klinkner provides individual, group and family therapy to children, adolescents and adults through virtual or in-person sessions at his office located at 3235 N. Washington St., Suite 107 in Chandler, Ariz. 85225. The office has night and weekend hours to accommodate busy schedules. For more information, visit klinknercounseling.com
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