Byline: Nikki Kontz, Teen Lifeline Clinical Director
You’ve been reminding your child to say “thanks” since they learned to talk, and you likely beamed with pride the first time they offered a genuine “thank you” without prompting.
As your child grows, moving from teaching “thank you” to instilling the broader practice of gratitude can make a lasting impact on their health and resilience.
Why Gratitude Matters
The science behind gratitude is compelling. Researchers at the University of California San Diego found that gratitude leads to a greater sense of well-being and a less depressed mood. Another study from the University of California Davis reveals that expressing gratitude can reduce cortisol, a stress hormone, by up to 23 percent, while also lowering blood pressure.
Other research shows gratitude helps improve sleep and immune system function – something we can all benefit from as we head into the holidays and cold and flu season.
For kids and teens, who may feel overwhelmed with academic and social demands, gratitude provides a healthy way to help manage their emotional load and increase resilience.
Cultivating Gratitude
While expressing hope and happiness may seem hard on difficult days, gratitude is similar to a muscle. The more you practice and use it, the more it will strengthen and grow.
That’s why Teen Lifeline encourages kids throughout the state to think of three things they are thankful for every day.
Gratitude can be a great after school or dinner conversation starter with your children, sparking meaningful conversations and helping your child recognize the positive parts of their day.
If you or your children are struggling to think of what you’re thankful for, consider these ideas to get the conversation started:
- Something that made you smile today
- Spending time with a friend
- A beautiful sunny day
- A quality you like about yourself
- A pet or hobby
- Someone who was kind to you
- A favorite memory
- Trying something new
- An accomplishment you’re proud of
- Wearing a favorite shirt or outfit
- Hearing a favorite song
- Something you’re looking forward to tomorrow
Acknowledging these small moments can help shift your child’s focus from what’s stressing them out to what’s going right, even in the midst of challenges.
Expressing Gratitude
After your family has spent time noticing the positives in your lives, the next step is expressing that gratitude to others. Research shows expressing gratitude can help us initiate, maintain and strengthen our relationships.
As you encourage your children to be grateful, don’t forget to express how thankful you are for them. Give your children specific praise for who they are and the good things they do. The more you express sincere gratitude, the more you will see a positive shift in your relationship.
Asking for Help
In some circumstances, gratitude alone will not be enough. Remind your kids it’s okay to ask for help when they need it.
It might surprise you to know the staff and volunteers at Teen Lifeline are actually grateful for each call the hotline receives. It means teens are reaching out for help when they need it. And that is always a good thing.
Struggling teens, or pre-teens, can call Teen Lifeline 24/7/365 at (602) 248-TEEN (8336) or (800) 248-TEEN for free and confidential help. They can also text the hotline at (602) 248-8336 between the hours of noon and 9 p.m. on weekdays and 3 p.m. and 9 p.m. on weekends.
The hotline is staffed by teen peer counselors from 3 p.m. until 9 p.m. every day of the year, including holidays. Trained counselors are available at all other times.
Adults struggling with suicidal thoughts can call the Crisis Response Network at (602) 222-9444 for help 24-hours a day.
Nikki Kontz is the clinical director of Teen Lifeline, a Phoenix-based, nonprofit dedicated to preventing teen suicide in Arizona. Contact her at 602-248-8337.
More articles written by Nikki Kontz:
Start The Tough Conversations Young: Talking About Suicide Can Save Children’s Lives