Tempe Mom Shares Odin’s Story
By Stacey McRae
My name is Stacey, I am the mom of three beautiful boys. Two I still hold in my arms here on Earth and one I will hold in my heart until we are together again. My oldest, Troy, is 11. Cole is 4 and his twin brother, Odin, is forever 2.5 years old. Odin left this Earth on June 12, 2021, due to a drowning in our backyard pool.
Odin was everything I could have ever wished for. He had the most beautiful crystal blue eyes and a smile that radiated so brightly you could feel its warmth in your soul. He was adventurous, inquisitive, joyful, and so full of life. He loved trash trucks, dance parties, singing along to “Baby Shark,” and playing with his brothers. He enjoyed the outdoors, swimming, and picking flowers for me from our garden. Born last, he truly completed our family.
That day in June was a normal day. Troy had plans to sleep over at a friend’s house that evening, so we wanted to spend the day having fun together as a family. We started the morning with a walk to our local park so the boys could play. When it got too hot, we went home to enjoy the pool together. After lunch, we got the costumes out and we all played dress up. I can still see Odin in his inflatable Star Wars BB-8 costume waddling down the hall. His joyous laugh in that moment is something I will remember forever. At some point that day, my husband and I decided to call a family member to see if she would watch our kids so we could enjoy a dinner out together. She agreed. I made the boys dinner and sat them down at the table to eat. My husband and I said goodbye and left the house around 7:00 pm. That was the last time I saw my son alive. At 8:37 pm that night, Odin was gone.
We later found out that our family member, exhausted from moving to Arizona earlier in the week and from starting a new job that morning, had fallen asleep. Left unsupervised for an extended period, my boys found their way into our swimming pool. Cole was able to get himself out and wake up our family member. While CPR was performed by a neighbor who came to help, it was too late. Our sweet Odin was pronounced deceased at the hospital shortly thereafter.
When we found out we were expecting twins, we knew we would need a house with more space. After months of searching, we found our dream home. It felt like a new beginning, and we were looking forward to the beautiful memories we would make as a family of 5. Shortly after we settled in, Cole and Odin were born and our family was complete. We were overwhelmed with joy. We never could have imagined that our son would drown two years later in our backyard pool.
As hard as it is to admit, our pool was not fenced. While it was something my husband and I talked about often, there always seemed to be something more urgent needing our attention. Although we already had our son Troy, 8 years had passed since we cared for a newborn. We were learning all over again and, this time, we had twin boys who were born premature. I would give anything to go back in time and prioritize a pool fence.
When a child drowns, most of the world is quick to pass judgment. They say the parents were “bad” parents, negligent, or that they didn’t watch their children close enough. They say it could never happen to them because they are “good” parents. They supervise their children closely. The kids are in swim lessons. Or they have taught them to stay away from the water.
I was one of those people who thought it couldn’t happen to me. We learned the hard way that it can. My boys had been in swim lessons, both at a swim school and privately in our backyard pool for 2 years. They were taught survival skills and I was diligent about watching them around water. But that simply was not enough.
The fact is, drowning doesn’t discriminate. It can happen to anyone. Drowning doesn’t care about your socioeconomic status, your educational background, or your profession. Drowning happens to good parents, vigilant parents, to parents who love their children endlessly and are trying their best to do everything right.
Shortly after Odin died, I connected with the Drowning Prevention Coalition of Arizona. In the last two years I have been forced to survive without him, I have learned a lot. Here is what I want you to know.
The only way to keep your children safe is to implement layers of prevention. Each layer you implement will buy you time in the event your child finds their way to water when you aren’t expecting it. The time our family so desperately wishes we had. With these layers in place, we can prevent these accidents from happening.
First, Open Eyes Save Lives. Adult supervision is vital when children are in and around the water. Always appoint a “water watcher” whose only job is to watch the water and swimmers continuously without distraction. This means they are not on their cell phone, having a conversation with a friend, grilling, reading, etc. Their ONLY job is to supervise the water.
Then Barriers are Lifesavers. Supervision fails – especially when children are not expected to be around water. So, this layer of protection is critical. The pool area must have a self-closing, self-latching pool fence with locks. There should also be alarms on windows and doors leading to the pool area, including dog doors.
Knowing the rules around lakes, rivers and pools is the third super rule for water safety. These include:
- Swim Lessons. While swim lessons alone are not enough to prevent drowning, they are a very important layer of prevention. Educate yourself on the types of swim lessons that are available and ensure that your child’s lessons also include water safety and survival education.
- Coast Guard Approved Life Jackets should be worn by people of all ages while in and around water above their swimming ability. This is especially important on open water but can also include pools. Make sure they are properly fitted, sized, and worn appropriately. Avoid “floaties” or anything that can be blown up. These are not life-saving devices. If it can inflate, it can deflate unexpectedly putting whoever is relying on it in a dangerous situation.
- If any of these layers fail, know how to perform CPR for a water rescue. Mouth-to-Mouth CPR could help reduce brain injury from lack of oxygen. Become certified in CPR for all age levels.
No single layer alone will prevent drownings. However, where one layer may fail, another is there to help prevent these horrific, unintentional events.
The pain, agony, heartache, and guilt my family and I have endured since Odin drowned is something no other family should have to experience. It is the most gut-wrenching and life-altering form of heartbreak. Every day we wake up, hoping and praying that this was all just a terrible nightmare. Every day I hope to hear my son running up to me screaming “flowers mama” as he hands me one he picked from the garden. But every day, we are forced to face the fact that this is our new reality.
I can’t change what happened to my son; it is too late for me. But what I can do is continue to tell our story and speak his name, in an attempt to keep this from happening to any other child. Drowning IS preventable. If we had known then, what we know now, my son would still be alive. Please learn from our story and don’t make the same mistakes that we did.
In Odin’s short two years of life, he made it his mission to ensure everyone around him was happy. It was something he would ask us daily. “Mama Happy!?” “Dada Happy!?”. If our answers were anything other than yes, he would make it his mission to make us laugh or smile.
That mission is now mine. I will work tirelessly to educate others on what I didn’t know. I will not stop until water safety is at the forefront of every parent’s mind, and I will shout louder every single day to ensure that every family can continue to make happy memories safely around water.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: “Stacey McRae is a Tempe mother who lost Odin, one of her toddler twin sons to drowning. Since Odin’s death, she has become an active member of the Drowning Prevention Coalition of Arizona and dedicates her time to educate others about water safety. Stacey and her family organize a yearly fundraiser, the Bee Happy 4 Odin Run in her late son’s honor to support the DPCA and its mission.”